We’re always looking to control… everything.
And remember, I write autobiographically, meaning I speak to myself first and simply share my thoughts with others on this blog. (This is likely what makes me a good yoga teacher, because I have to coach myself to calm the eff down all day, so I know precisely what to say when the monkey mind starts stirring.)
It’s as if we, human beings, have this subconscious need to be certain of any and every outcome. The entire notion of analytics is based of this, there are companies that measure everything because of this. And even in every day conversation, we ask, “are you sure?”
Think about it. Take an issue we hear pretty much daily from someone around us- “I need to lose weight.” Well, why do you need to lose weight? So you can fit into your jeans? So you can look good for your partner? Or look good so you can find a partner? To feel good about yourself? Or to make sure your partner doesn’t cheat or leave? The issue isn’t weight or diet or pants size.
The issue is this raw, basic, human desire to control the outcome. To have a sense of order in a chaotic world. Because, the truth of the truth of the truth is- we aren’t in control. Of anything. Even thin people get cheated on, size 2 pant people’s partner’s leave, and Victoria’s Secret model-esque people with long flowy hair and ripped abs end up alone. You see, the issue isn’t weight or diet or pants size.
The root of the issue is the obsessive need to control outcome of life.
And that’s OK.
We’re all the same on a cellular level.
I found this out by observing my obsessive patterns. Even my supposed healthy obsessive patterns. Even months after my CHP (cancer healing program), I eat figs and leaves. Literally. And if I go to a restaurant, I sometimes bring my own water, because I was/am in serious fear about what is in the water. All of this isn’t because I want to be superbly healthy. That is one part of it, but, the root of the issue is because I have the need to control the outcome of whether I get cancer again.
It may happen. Even though I’ve done a complete and total 360 of lifestyle, behaviors, breaking toxic patterns, eating clean, etc. etc. etc. But until it does… I’ll trust that I’m doing everything I can to live in reverence of this life. That’s all I can do. Otherwise, I’d be a crazy person running around in circles, unable to stop because I’M SO STRESSED OUT!
The need to be certain is remedied with trust, surrender, and acceptance. I got to this point when the pain of being in whatever situation I created in order to remain in control became greater than the fear of uncertainty.
Embracing that we don’t know that we’re on a spinning ball that is floating in nothingness and don’t know where the universe ends or can scientifically prove how life began is the secret. Trusting that it’s all Divine Order… and rigged in our favor.
October, I love you. And even though Mercury is back in retrograde, we have no reason for lower level anxiety when operating from the place of awareness that God, love, and this experience is supporting us at every moment.
Peace and namaste